If You Aren't Doing These Things in Bed, Maybe You Should
When it comes to sex, every woman has a few secrets she'll never spill. But, she also has a few she is dying to share -- if only she could find a way to broach the topic. We did the dirty work for you and got eight women to open up about things they really wish men would do more of in bed.
We like dirty talk
Telling her she's beautiful is a nice way to connect; but a lot of women would prefer you to speak in a far more colorful language when the lights go out. "I think dirty talk is so hot," says Sadie, 36. "I know it's tricky when you don't know someone, but I wish my guy would just get really raunchy with me one night instead of keeping it PG-13."
Bond with us over bondage
There was a reason Fifty Shades of Grey became a bestseller... and it wasn't because of the great storytelling. Many women would love to introduce a range of BDSM fantasies into their relationships. "I'd like my guy to tie my wrists," says Megan, 27. Jules, 23, prefers something a little more aggressive. "I'd love it if my man started choking me during sex and using my hair as something to hold on to when doing doggy style," she says. Hey -- to each her own.
Know your role
We all have different fantasies, and what better way to explore them than with a partner you can trust and relax with? "I would be really into role play," says Lindsay, 39. "Come into the bedroom in a tux, treat me like your Bond girl, and show me your 007."
Three-ways aren't just fantasies for guys
Just as some men dream of threesomes, a number of women we spoke to are interested in bringing one (or several) extra partners into the bedroom on occasion. "I know my husband would never go for it," says Katherine, 34, "but I wouldn't mind having a threesome with another man. He seems to think it's normal for men to want sex with two women, but really judges women who do. So I never mention it."
Leave your bed out of it
Remember your first apartment when you couldn't wait to "christen" every room? That kind of enthusiasm is just what Cassie, 32, is looking for. "A bed is great and comfortable," she says, "but what about the shower, the kitchen counter, and on top of the table by the swimming pool? There are so many opportunities and fun places to have sex beyond under the duvet."
Oral sex isn't a one-way street
There are some men who pride themselves on being great with their tongues, but we were shocked to find that nearly half of the women in relationships were not getting any oral action from their partners. "My husband just doesn't do it and never has," says Melanie, 40. "I don't even know if he knows how." Shelly, 23, just broke up with a guy for lack of reciprocation. "Sorry," she says, "I am not spending the rest of my life on my knees if you can't be bothered to get on yours."
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Brenda Della Casa is Preston Bailey Designs' editor-in-chief and digital content strategist, as well as author of Cinderella Was a Liar. Oh -- and that last piece of advice? Use it. Check her out on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa.