Sex + Dating

How Dancing Makes You a Better Lover

Couple dancing in nightclub
Blend Images/Shutterstock

Dance is the drug of ancient gods, giving us the freedom to move, contort, and shape our beautiful bodies. Dance is sex with clothes on. But how can we translate dancing into being a better lover?

Actually, the act of dancing naturally improves your love life without you even having to think about it. Here's how.
 

Dancing gives you a sense of rhythm

In the bedroom, much like the dance floor, connecting to rhythm elevates participants to a new level. Rhythm comes from nature: our ancestors used rhythm when they involved themselves in ceremonial dances, many of which were connecting to some fertility ritual or marriage arrangement.

Dancing is a way to show a partner a link to something ancestral; carnal, even. Through this incendiary and titillating experience -- showing our rhythm and ability to dance -- we provoke those who watch us. They get to synchronize their natural rhythm with ours. And it's those same dance-floor gyrations we use in the bedroom.
 

Dancing hides inhibitions way better than alcohol

Loving music and dancing to it are two things we've all done since childhood. Young people innately know to dance when music is playing. And if you've ever studied little kids closely, you know that while they're dancing, they're hardly self-conscious. Children move to music in very organic ways and without much thinking or planning.

Of course, as we move into adulthood we forget the glory of freestyle dancing. Yet dancing without inhibitions sets us free. It releases endorphins, sparks creativity... and all without the side effects of booze. By challenging our inner spirit with youthful intentions, we allow dance moves to influence bedroom maneuvers. Excellent lovers learn to shed their inhibitions and enjoy the act itself.
 

Dancing invigorates the body with energy

In English we use the term "dead fish" (vaca muerta, or "dead cow" in Spanish) to describe an effortless, lazy approach to lovemaking. This is not acceptable, people! Like exercise in general, dance increases energy levels. Being active begets more activity. That includes the boudoir.

Dancing deep and hard brings the energy of the music into your soul. You can summon that same energy to conjure an unforgettable romp in the hay.

Dancing at a nightclub
Syda Productions

Dancing builds self-confidence

Moving to music raises hormones that increase our self-confidence. When we choose to be more ourselves, regardless of preconceived notions or judgments of others, we become more attractive to others. And when we are aware of our attractiveness, we notice when we are being watched, studied, or desired. That, in turn, lifts our ego even more.

So dance away. Find a suitable beat and/or some killer dance moves, and let that electricity raise your spirits enough to take on a lover.
 

Dancing brings out playfulness

Dancing lets us play with sound, movement, and contact. All in all, it's one of the most social arts out there. And if you want to gain some points in the bedroom, take advantage of this!

In dance, we make eye contact, we touch, and we use sound to manipulate our bodies and emotions. This same behavior can be transferred to the bedroom with great ease. Keep things lively by having music playing in the bedroom. Its playful nature will make you a playful partner and encourage you to keep things moving between the sheets.  
 

Dancing allows us to be different than our real selves

In dance, we transform. Wallflowers become vibrant voguers, the timid among us burst from their shells, and the quiet become talented twirlers. Dance propels us into other realms and, in that same sense, can convert us into innovative lovers. By allowing music to be our muse, we can reach new heights in the bedroom.

That sense of dance changing us in the moment and allowing us to take on different personas translates perfectly in the bedroom, summoning limitless possibilities. Role-play, anyone?
 

Dancing brings out our best

Whether we want to reconnect with ourselves or shed a few pounds, dance offers a solution. Through dance we can learn more about our bodies: how to move them, how to feel comfortable in them, and how to use them in the bedroom. Through dance, we can also eliminate physical and emotional layers we want to remove. Dancing is cathartic and therapeutic.

After a night of dancing, most people feel absolutely euphoric. It's obvious why: dance lets us be who we really want to be. Connecting with our true selves (and our bodies) is not only highly attractive, but it also bolsters our ability to satisfy others and ourselves behind closed doors.

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Jacklyn Janeksela is a freelance writer at Thrillist who is also a poet, painter, and musician; she writes about art @Culture Designers & body image @Witty Bitches. Check out her stuff on Tumblr and Bandcamp.