Sex + Dating

How to Fight Through Seasonal Dating Depression to Enjoy White-Hot Winter Sex

Finding someone to keep you warm during slushy winter months sucks, which is why people often try to lock down said person during the fall. But if you forgot or failed to do so, don’t give in to a season of sexless, Netflix hibernation just yet. Here are seven ways to defrost your libido, heat up your winter sex life, and find that elusive “plus one” you’ll be using for supplemental body heat.

Start swiping, liking, and messaging

Think of dating and hook-up apps as necessary formalities in the modern quest for love and lust. Especially during a season when fewer people are willing to brave the cold to socialize. Plus, there’s something to be said for surfing through tons of profiles from the comfort of your warm bed, a smartphone in one hand and mug of hot chocolate in the other. Of course, making a great connection online means that, ultimately, one of you will need to dig a car out from under three feet of snow, but this is a good problem to have.

Consider popcorn and snow aphrodisiacs

“It’s cold out. I think I’ll just curl up in front of the TV with a bottle of wine and good movie. Wanna join me?”

With fewer than 30 words, you’ve just unlocked one of the simplest ways to secure a seemingly nonchalant date that can lead to much more. Offering up a movie night -- or Netflix & chill, in the parlance of our times -- is a tried and true hook-up strategy not to be overlooked, especially during inclement weather. It’s innocent enough to not give off any desperate (read: horny) vibes, yet intimate enough to provide a reasonable path to foregoing the end of said movie for more interesting activity.

Squat less, schmooze more at the gym

You hear that? That’s the stampede of people rushing to the gym in the hopes of getting a head start on next year’s beach bod (or more likely, desperately trying to offset forthcoming holiday eating). If you’re one of them, then you’re already out of the house and ahead of the game! 

Don’t be afraid to work the room between sets, or ask a beautiful stranger to be your spotter. It’s true, some may frown on those who interrupt their workout to make chit chat, but someone who’s even the least bit into you won’t mind a bit. Politely interrupting someone’s sacred training time to thaw out your sex life is one of those times when the end justifies the means.

Give your sex odds a caffeinated shot in the arm

Coffee dates are always a good idea, especially during the winter. They’re simple-yet-personal, allow for a quick getaway if need be, and don’t require as much prep time (i.e., no raiding your closet a week in advance). Are coffee shops and tea parlors as exciting as outdoor festivals and rooftop bars? No. But when it’s -10-degrees out, it’s nice to know that stimulating conversations -- and (hopefully!) even more stimulating sex  -- are just a pourover away.

Hit the slopes

Remember all those impressively gorgeous humans you saw last summer spiking volleyballs, jet-skiing down the coast, or jogging up a nice sweat? Well guess what? They’re all skiing now. They may be covered in bulkier outerwear, but the bodies are still there! Mountain resorts are prime real estate when it comes to cold weather mating rituals. After all, anyone who’s free of marital or parental obligations is sure to be spending at least some of their weekends frolicking at the nearest ski lodge. And when they’re done swooshing down the mountainside, you can bet they’ll be filling up the lodge bars, looking for ways to decompress.  

Let the sun shine in

Many people’s moods are directly affected by the sunlight or lack thereof. Your serotonin drops in the winter because of all that darkness, which might be why you find yourself in front of the TV all weekend every weekend marathoning Gilmore Girls. Do yourself a favor and make that extra effort to get outside during the day for some vitamin D (a.k.a. the “sunshine vitamin”) . Your body and sex drive will thank you. 

Get happy at happy hour

There’s something about leaving the office when the sun’s already gone that can cause people to skip the after-work cocktail and head straight home to their electric blankets. Fortunately, some folks couldn’t care less about Mother Nature’s frigid sense of humor and are willing to trek through a blizzard of biblical proportions to get to their favorite watering holes. These are the people you need to be mingling with come snowfall.  

And if there are fewer people than usual in the joint, even better! You’ve not only upped your odds of getting noticed, you also won’t have to scream your name multiple times to that attractive stranger who can’t hear you over the background noise. Hopefully any name-yelling occurs later in the evening and for entirely different reasons.

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Dario Palombi is a contributing writer for Thrillist, founder of, and big believer in coffee-shop dates. Follow him on Twitter: @BachelorUNCUT.