Pay attention to her whole body
I once had a man kiss every vertebrae in my back from tailbone to neck. He followed it up by kissing the insides of my wrists. It was the best sex I've ever had, and we didn't have intercourse. This is something Paul, 27, learned just in time for a hot finale to his second decade. "Our body from head to toe has sensory zones and each person is unique," he said. "Feel the comfort and confidence to explore it all. Be creative and read your partner's reaction."
Lose the labels
Whether it's attaching what-does-it-mean anxiety to certain acts, shaming a woman for sleeping with you too soon, or thinking you don't have "game" if she doesn't, there are a lot of labels surrounding sex that can complicate an otherwise great night together. "I used to think doing certain things in bed were not masculine or that a woman was defined by how early she slept with me," says Chad, 35. "As a grown man, I realize that all of that was just a bunch of nonsense brought about by insecurity and overthinking."
It's better to wait for sex than push
Fact: when a woman wants to have sex, she'll give you clues. You don't need to ask for it, make aggressive jokes, or offer envelope-pushing commentary to test her boundaries. In fact, taking an in-your-face approach will likely work against you. "When I was younger, it was all about getting her to go home with me," says Marcus, 42. "Nowadays, it's more exciting to build things up and have her completely comfortable and happy to be there with me than to be doing it because she's drunk -- or worse, feels obligated."
Kissing is hot
Foreplay is more than fingers and tongues -- something James, 32, wishes he knew back in his 20s. "I wish I had taken more time to just make out with women," he says. "So often you want to get to the other stuff, you overlook how nice it is to just kiss someone."
Women like (good) sex
Thanks to a lot of misogynistic theories about frigid women and bad jokes about wives with headaches, a lot of men grew up hearing women just don't find sex appealing. "It was a great surprise to me that women like sex as much as men," Mike says. "Once I realized this, I never forgot it and it changed the way I approached sex. Suddenly, it became much more about having fun together and pleasing each other instead of feeling like I needed to convince her."
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Brenda Della Casa is Preston Bailey Designs' editor-in-chief and digital content strategist, as well as author of Cinderella Was a Liar. And now, she's more convinced than ever that sexually mature men beat young studs every. Single. Time. Check her out on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa.