Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a weekly column in which sex and relationships writer Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes to anal, unrequited love to cheating: We want to hear it all.
For questions on relationships, sex, or anything else, email Gigi at AskGigi@thrillist.com.
I'm a guy who's waited a few years already for a girl. I've just always felt she was "the one." We met in high school when I was a senior and she was a freshman, now I'm 21 in college in the same town and she's 18 and a senior in HS.
I don't think I'm in the friend zone because we still have the little quirky-flirty things that people who are romantically interested have. And there is always a real, undeniable romantic tension. However, we have never been anything more than friends.
Despite receiving a 110% acceptance rating from her family, she is totally hot 'n' cold. At first it was because I came on pretty strong and she's said she thinks I should date someone more my age. That was nearly three years ago and since then my technique has greatly improved and become more subtle.
I'm waiting healthily; I do go on dates and have had relationships with other people in this same time, it's just that this girl is really my goal and that won't change until I finally get her... or until I give up.
I'm capable of waiting forever, but more realistically, until I graduate in a few years. I just want a sincere opinion and some advice for better or worse; am I missing some obvious red flags and am in the friend zone?
You say there is real romantic tension and so I want to fully analyze this situation. Like many guys before you, you're trapped in the no man's land of dating.
The friend zone sucks major ass. If you're in the friend zone, there is truly no getting out of it. I can't stress this to guys enough. It means she is not sexually attracted to you. It's not something you can force your way into and no amount of doting on her is going to make her change her mind.
Her friendship really should be enough for you if she's a cool person, but if you desperately want more, you should just move on because the friendship will never be enough for you, and your interest in her is awkward for her. Go find someone who doesn't want to just be friends, if that's what you want.