Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a weekly column in which sex and relationships writer Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes to anal, unrequited love to cheating: We want to hear it all.
For questions on relationships, sex, or anything else, email Gigi at AskGigi@thrillist.com.
Dear Auntie Gigi,
I've been with my partner for a total of 10 years, married for two of them. Throughout the relationship, our sex life has never been great. When it could be considered "regular," it was once a month. Now it's a much different story: This year, we've only had sex twice. One of those times was because it was my birthday.
My wife has a pretty serious anxiety disorder and has told me she's lost her sex drive. Doctors can't find any reason for it. It’s gotten to the point where even small acts of intimacy like holding her hand or kissing her causes her serious anxiety.
I've tried to communicate. I've told her I'm not happy with our current situation, and that I want a change, to which she responds, "Well, what do you expect me to do about it?" To her, sex isn't a big deal and she doesn't get why I'm unhappy. I understand that she has anxiety, but I don't understand why she doesn't seem to care about the physical part of our relationship.