3. Could the sex be rated anywhere in the vicinity of “decent” to “satisfactory"?
4. Do most of your sexual encounters happen in the late hours of night solely when alcohol is introduced into either party’s system?
5. Do you have zero intentions of introducing this person to your friends, neighbors, parents, coworkers, siblings, distant relatives, or coffee shop baristas?
6. If this person was kidnapped, would it take you more than a month to notice?
7. When you finally did notice, would you experience a feeling along the lines of how you might feel if your neighbor’s friend’s sister’s cat went missing?
8. Is it safe to say that neither one of you knows the other’s middle name?
9. When you close your eyes and think really, really hard, do you still have kind of a hard time picturing this person’s face?
Embrace the WELP -- for a while
WELPs are a product of our generation. The truth is, there’s just far less pressure to commit to someone RIGHT now than there was even 10 years ago. More importantly, the search to find someone new after your last relationship crumbles has remarkably declined since the launch of the dating app. How hard is it to find a new prospect after your old one fizzles you out for someone taller? About as hard as picking up your phone and swiping right.