One day I was sitting in his passenger's seat at Whole Foods (supermarket date!), when we saw an obese woman struggling to get out of her car. Without missing a beat, my funny-as-hell boyfriend turned to me.
"You're about six chips away from obese," he said. I felt my stomach drop. This was the last in a series of comments from him and his father, who'd told me to go on Survivor to lose weight. So, yeah, charm runs in that family. Being a big believer in eating your feelings, I gained more weight during that relationship than any other in my life. Some stuff just will never be funny, whether you mean it to or not.
Don't DWG (date while grieving)
I made the brilliant decision once to get involved with a guy whose ex-girlfriend (and one of my best friends) had recently died in a car accident. At the time, we were absolute messes reaching out for comfort without any clue how mismatched we were. Our first date was to the El Capitan Theatre, a classic Los Angeles landmark, which was playing a 2003 kids movie called Brother Bear. The film has a 38% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which should give you a clue on what we were in for.
We were the only adults without children in the entire theater. At the end of the movie, he sat there staring at the credits, ignoring me when I asked if we could leave. When we finally did get up, he was upset that I didn't find the joy in watching a movie for 3-year-olds… and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum outside on the corner of Hollywood Blvd.
I got a good reality check that day -- that at 25, building a relationship on extreme emotions doesn't give you stability at all. Best to let yourself grief and go through your shit before taking on anyone else's -- or laying yours on a partner.
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