Squirming, flinching, squealing: what body language to watch for
“If you're going to be the Top (the person delivering the spanking) in a spanking scene, you'll want to pay very close attention to your Bottom's (the person receiving the spanking) body language and other little details, such as skin sensitivity and fragility,” says Makai. This is particularly important if your spankee partner is someone you're less familiar with. It's entirely normal for the Bottom in a spanking session to squirm, flinch, wince, or squeal during a spanking. It's not really normal for the Bottom to panic, struggle, scream, or cry. “After all, you're supposed to be doing this because you both enjoy it, right?” he says.
Play it safe
“There should always be a safe word or non-verbal signal that is understood by both parties as something that will bring everything to an immediate halt,” says Makai. This is really important, even just for simple spankings, since you never know how some people will react. “It is an unfortunate fact of life that spankings can sometimes be a trigger that reminds individuals of childhood abuse.”
Know any health risks upfront
If there are any health issues, such as chronic pain, high blood pressure, history of stroke or seizures, these should be discussed in advance. “A session that starts out as a playful spanking could turn into a medical emergency if you go in uninformed and unprepared,” says Makai.
Make your intentions clear
“If this is the first time for a couple, the Top should explain what he intends to do and how he intends to do it,” says Makai. There should be no surprises during that first spanking session. One example Makai gives would be when someone is expecting a simple spanking, but instead receives genital or anal penetration of some sort during the course of the spanking. “For a longtime couple, that might be exciting and fun, but from a casual friend who promised just a simple spanking, it might not be fun at all,” he says.