If you’ve seen porn, then you know there’s a wide world of sexual positions out there. Maybe you’ve even tried a few of them in your time. I mean, if Joanna Angel is enjoying getting twisted around like a Kama Sutra-inspired pretzel, chances are your lady will too, right?
 
Mmm... not so much. Just because you’ve seen it on TV does not mean you should try it at home, kids. Sexual positions are not all created equal, especially for women. So to help you out, here’s a list of 20 of the most popular sexual positions, ranked by how they feel for a woman.
 
Disclaimer: Not all women are created equal. What’s true for one is not necessarily true for all. This is a generalization. It would behoove you to have a conversation with your partner to find out how this list ranks for her. Especially before you improvise an unwanted 69 session.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

20. 69

This is seriously one of the worst sexual positions ever, and whoever invented it didn’t invent a sex position so much as the beginning of an awkward conversation. So let’s clear this up right now: Women do not enjoy the 69. In order for a woman to orgasm, she has to be relaxed and stress-free. Propping ourselves up so we can service you while you service us is just plain work. We want to be sure that we’re doing a good job, so we’re busy concentrating on what we’re doing down there for you. Plus, we’re worried that our buttholes might get stuffed with nose if we buck with pleasure. If you’re orally pleasuring us, then we just want to sit back and enjoy that.
 

19. Standing up

While admittedly this looks hot as hell on TV, it’s actually a lot of work for both of us. If you’re able to actually do it, it involves her arms wrapped around his neck, while he hoists her up and holds her legs open. It involves leverage, a chair, or even a wall. Sure, it looks good, but you’re both preoccupied with whether this is actually fun for either of you, and she’s definitely wondering if he thinks she’s too heavy.
 

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

18. The wheelbarrow

Sooo… who thought up this one? Seriously, have you ever had sex before? With a human? Doing a half-handstand while a dude lifts your hips in the air and starts banging you from behind is the least comfortable position I can imagine. If you have ever gotten a girl off using the wheelbarrow, she was definitely faking.
 

17. The butter churner

Or perhaps you prefer “the oil driller,” because that’s exactly what this position looks like he’s doing. She’s on her back with her legs raised up over her head while he squats over her and dips (drills?) himself into her. This is fun for about 8-10 seconds before she’s thinking, “My chin is cutting off my airway and seriously put me down.”

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

16. The cradle

Sure, it’s romantic. He’s sitting up and she’s straddling him and everything is all close and intimate -- but you’re not really going anywhere and very little is actually happening. There’s not enough room for the movements that need to occur for either of you to climax. But it’s definitely good for making out and smelling each other.
 

15. The waterfall

He lies with his legs on his bed and his torso spilling over the side, while she hops on top. Apparently the blood is supposed to rush to his OTHER head, which gives a mind-blowing orgasm. Frankly it’s not that much different for the ladies than just being on top, and it looks like it's less than comfortable for him -- but if he likes the head rush, then we say go for it! Relationships are about give and take.
 

14. The lap dance

Correcting the error in physics that is presented by the cradle, the lap dance adds the required amount of leverage in order for both parties to orgasm. The lap dance works with him sitting in an armless chair, while she straddles him with both her feet on the floor. With the assistance of his hands on her hips, she can use her legs to achieve the desired “up and down” motion. It’s sexy, it’s fun, and, depending on the chair, it’s ergonomically ideal.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

13. Reverse cowgirl

Science says it’s much, much easier for a woman to orgasm when she’s on top. The reverse cowgirl is a fun twist on an old favorite where the woman is on top facing the man’s feet. First, he’s deeeefinitely enjoying the view. And she’s MOST LIKELY getting off. The only reason why this isn’t higher on the list is because it’s really nice to orgasm when you’re facing each other.
 

12. Pole position

This is like advanced reverse cowgirl. While she’s in reverse cowgirl, he bends one knee so she is straddling only one leg. This means she can rub up against his thigh, giving extra contact to the clitoris, which, as we mentioned, is preeeetty great for sex.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

11. The flatiron

This is a great position for the ladies who love doggy style, but with a little extra comfort added. She lies face-down on the bed, legs straight, while he climbs on top of her from behind. It’s relaxing for her, and hits the same spots that doggy style does, but adds for an extra level of intimacy as his body is pressed directly into hers. He is going to enjoy this because it’s pretty much a straight view of ass the entire time.
 

10. The tabletop

In case you are unfamiliar, the tabletop involves the woman lying flat on her back, again on a surface that matches his hip level. Her legs are up in the air at a 90-degree angle. It’s hot because it changes up your location, he’s at maximum “thrust” potential, and his and her hands are free for any extracurricular roaming.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

9. Scissors

With her legs spread, he straddles one leg and props the other one up against his chest or draped over his knee. This is awesome for him because he can get all up in there in ways that other positions just can’t reach, which coincidentally is pretty awesome for her. Plus it feels naughtier than just straight missionary, which you know you like, you wild thing, you!
 

8. The L

This is kind of like sideways doggy style. She’s lying on her side with her legs out at a 90-degree angle to form an “L” shape (duh). He kneels up behind her and... I think you get it. Girls who like doggy style will like this because it hits similar spots without strain to her knees or back.
 

7. The bridge

Have her lie on the the bed almost in missionary, while he kneels between her legs. He raises her lower back with his hands and supports her hips that way. This allows him to, once again, go just a little bit deeper and hits the elusive G-spot at a new and interesting angle.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

6. The spoon

Spooning after sex is one of the best parts about sex. So spooning during sex can only be awesome, which, spoiler alert, it is. Have her lie on her side while he lifts her top leg from behind. In this position he can be in control by grabbing her hips, rubbing her clitoris (which, if you didn’t know, is what you need to do to make her orgasm), grabbing... other things. She can increase the level of intensity by turning to hold his neck while he goes slow... and then maybe a little bit fast... and then slow again... and hold on, I need a minute...
 

5. Doggy style

Ahhh, classic doggy style -- arguably one of women’s most favorite positions the world over. I doubt you need this explained, but here’s why it’s terrific: he’s going suuuuper deep, which is great for women who can orgasm from penetration alone. (Most women cannot, so don’t be sad if that’s not your lady. This is still going to feel good for her.) It directly hits the G-spot and adds a tasteful level of raunch.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

4. Ankles above her head

Again, another take on classic missionary, lifting her ankles back behind her head changes up the angle and also allows him to go in deep. Just make sure your lady is flexible, because otherwise this isn’t very comfortable.
 

3. The G-whiz

This is similar to having her legs lifted behind her head, but is slightly more comfortable for those of us who aren’t master yogis. She lies on her back and rests her legs on his shoulders while he kneels to do his thing. It narrows our lady bits, which feels great for him and also helps to make the G-spot a more direct target.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

2. Girl on top

Again, no detailed description should be necessary (hopefully...). This is one of the most perfect positions for women because it gives us all of the control. We pretty much have control of the switchboard from this angle and can adjust the levels of pace, depth, and speed to our liking. Still, he can certainly have his say in this position by grabbing her hips and pulling a “power bottom,” which is often appreciated when we’re tired from doing a lot of the work.

Andy Kryza/Thrillist

1. Missionary

OK, if you’re ALWAYS doing missionary then your sex is definitely boring. But ironically, this is the go-to position for a reason. It just works for everyone. She’s lying there under her man feeling all sexy and feminine, while he’s on top doing his dominant thing. It’s intimate and romantic, but can also be just the right amount of raunchy if she adds something to the roll and doesn’t relegate herself to the dreaded “starfish.” If she’s doing it right, she should move her hips, grab his, open and close her legs to change up the feeling for him, etc. Pulling her knees up to her sides is also a way for him to get a little deeper into her, as well.

Thrillist would like to thank models Leia Organa and John Rambo for lending this list some artistic integrity.

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Meagan Drillinger is a freelancer for Thrillist and is not ashamed that she knows the name “Joanna Angel.” Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at @drillinjourneys.

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