Once you go through a few miserable breakups, you have a solid idea of the person you are. "It's a kind of rite of passage," Kate says.
You learn your strengths
Getting your feelings trampled on by someone you thought you loved is not a pleasant experience. There are likely moments during this anguish when you think you will die. But you don't die. You can't die of a broken heart, no matter what the TV dramas have told you.
"Each one of my friends did the most amount of growing when their entire world fell apart," says Zara Barrie, a senior writer for Elite Daily and relationships savant. "When your world falls apart, you get to pick up the broken pieces and rebuild your life, exactly the way you want it."
After the smoke has cleared, wounds have begun to heal, and you meet someone new to love, you realize that you're stronger for having gone through the pain. You may never be grateful for it, but you can see the value in having gone through something so tough.