Sex Tips for Boring People

Sex Tips for Boring People: Zika Virus, Big Feet, and Self-Loving on Display

silhouetted mosquitos transmitting zika virus
mycteria/Shutterstock

Sex Tips for Boring People will take your sex life from vanilla to passion fruit. Or at least from vanilla to vanilla bean. Find more sexy advice right here.
 

What is going on with the Zika virus, and can I get it from kissing and/or sex?

Zika has the world on high alert as this mosquito-borne disease makes its way out of Brazil into Central America, the Caribbean, the United States, and about 24 other countries. But other than hijacking headlines, what exactly is it? Truthfully, no one REALLY knows, which is exactly what you want to hear about the latest pandemic. The primary fear surrounding this allegedly "mosquito-borne" illness is its suspected link to microcephaly, a condition that leaves newborn babies with abnormally small heads. But no one is positive that’s what it actually does. So let's get down to what you really want to know: are you going to get Zika by banging?

Ermm... kinda tough to say.

Zikaphobia is still relatively new, and most US doctors aren't true experts in it. There are still many questions over how the disease is transmitted, and no real CLEAR answers exist, which, again, isn't exactly comforting when it comes to possibly sexually transmitted things.

So what DO we know? According to the most recent update on Zika from the CDC, which was Feb 12th, it IS possible to transmit Zika sexually, we think. Earlier this month a Texas patient was infected with Zika after having sexual contact with an infected person who had returned from Venezuela. In total there have been three known cases of sexual transmission of Zika in medical research, according to the CDC. The inconclusive findings are showing that the virus may be present in semen for up to 10 weeks after the onset of the illness, but if it can survive longer than that is still unknown. It's also unclear if women can pass it to men. Basically, we don’t know a lot. But playing it safe is never the wrong advice. If you know you’ve been infected by Zika, you should probably err on the side of caution and use that robust condom supply we know you're packing to prevent all the other unsavory sexual side effects.

woman's hand touching elephant foot
gabisandy/Shutterstock

Is there any correlation between foot or hand size and penis size?

We know all you size 13ers out there puff up with pride when you request your shoe size with the cute chick at Foot Locker. "Aww yeahhh," you're probably thinking as you peacock yourself around the store, sizing up the purchases of the other less fortunate customers. But is this alleged correlation between your big feet and big penis fact or fiction? Truth be told, the answer is straight-up myth.

There is no significant correlation between the two, or at least none that has been found in any significant research. A study done in 1993 by Siminoski and Bain found a weak correlation between the size of a stretched penis and the foot size. "The median stretched penile length for the sampled population was 13 cm and the median UK shoe size was 9. There was no statistically significant correlation between shoe size and stretched penile length," the study concluded. In 2002, another study done by Shah and Christopher failed to find any evidence.

So there you have it. When it comes to the size of your massive feet (or hands), the only thing you can really be proud of is... the size of your massive feet (or hands).
 

How can I get my girlfriend to masturbate in front of me?

I'm not exactly sure this is the correct attitude, so let's start there. You shouldn't have to "get" your partner to do anything. There should be no smoke-and-mirrors, sleight-of-hand trickery involved when it comes to fulfilling sexual fantasies and desires. The only way to truly "get" what you want from another person, especially in bed, is to ask.

There is nothing wrong with self-lovin’. In fact, it’s something we should all do on a regular (daily?) basis. And doing it in front of someone else is more than hot -- it's empowering for both people. However, your girlfriend might not want to do this for a variety of reasons: 1) she's shy; 2) it's personal; or 3) a hearty combo of both. Masturbating IS personal, and that's why it's so wonderful. We don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but ourselves. Maybe we are shy about the faces or noises we might make while we are on display. Sex faces and sex noises when it's part of a duo are easier to ignore because you're both in it together. But when it suddenly becomes a solo act, stage fright might ensue. So if this is a discussion you want to have, you can start by complimenting her while you're having sex in person. Tell her how sexy she is when she gets off. This will help her feel confident and attractive. From there you can work up to exchanging sexy pics, if you don’t already do so. As she feels more comfortable putting herself "on display" for you, you can work up to private viewings. But be prepared to do the same for her. You know, tit for tat. Quite literally.

But the easiest way to "get" what you want, is to ask for it.

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist. All of her dates are tax deductible. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @drillinjourneys.