I know what you’re thinking: Ooooh, sounds like someone has a crush! But I swear on my wine rack, feelings of perfidious romantic affection for a lover’s BFF have NEVER been the case. I was happy in my relationships and adored each boyfriend (at the time). And even though I’ve always been a confident girl, I’d be lying if I said I don’t care what people think -- because clearly I was striving for bae’s best friend to see the best version of me, too.
BFS is the real deal
As it turns out, BFS is actually quite common. “It’s normal to fixate and ‘crush’, in a sense, on your partner’s best friend,” explains Sameera Sullivan, relationship expert, psychologist, and founder of Lasting Connections. “You want to make a good, lasting impression on him so he tells your boyfriend that you’re attractive, fun, and the greatest girl he’s ever dated. Who wouldn’t want to hear that? It’s an ego thing.”
Think about your own best pal. The two of you likely share similar interests, values, and even personality traits. Your boo has chosen his ride-or-die for the same reasons and commonalities. Says Sullivan: “If he’s really talked up his friend, naturally you’ll look for all those amazing qualities and you may become intrigued by them as well.” I mean, obviously your boyfriend has great taste in people...