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31 Curveballs That Put the WTF! in Dating

Published On 11/24/2015 Published On 11/24/2015

The fact that dating is never predictable is mostly half the fun. Mostly. You can never be too prepared, so we rounded up 31 curveballs that dating can throw at you, from the mildly quirky to the jaw-dropping.

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1. He’s still “kind of seeing” his ex
It’s complicated. 

2. You run into yours
Are they actually going to try and have a conversation beyond a greeting? Oh, yes, they are. What are you doing here again? 

3. She won’t eat “anything green”
Picking the slivers of basil off a pizza was probably cute at her fifth birthday party, but you are now the weirdo table at the pizzeria -- plus basil is delicious.
 
4. They’ve only got an hour
You didn’t think this was speed dating, but something incredibly important just came up and… he just put on more cologne.

5. She keeps stealing things
So your date nabs a few extra matchbooks from the host stand -- no big deal. But the silverware too?
 
6. He compares your eyes to anything
Sigh, you suppose your eyes are probably pretty close to the color of seaweed anyway. At least he made an effort.

7. Age was just a number
When he said he was 25, he meant… in a 40-year-old’s body. Or maybe he said he was an adult and yet still lives with his parents...

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8. Their Tinder (etc.) picture was a little... misleading
If this Tinder picture was on a Wanted poster, he’d get away with murder.

9. He ignores the 50/50 dessert split rule
When the crème brûlée arrives, he wolfs it down, beginning with ENTIRETY of the singed sugary shell. Terrible form. 

10. It’s your coworker's ex-boyfriend
You know, the one she's been complaining about for the past three months. The bigger problem? Why were you both a match?

11. Ceaseless bad accent/impression
Why are you talking like that? Do you need a sip of water? Oh, right. The Godfather. 
 
12. They know too much
You’ve been meaning to tighten up your social media privacy settings -- especially now that she just asked you to wish your mom a happy birthday.
 
13. You brought her to a steakhouse
And she’s a vegetarian. Or there's that special situation where you order a steak and he's a vegan -- a vegan who hasn't mastered the adult talent of hiding disgust.

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14. Her tattoo is misspelled 
It says " Never To Much." Has she ever thought of adding on to it? No. 

15. She chews with her mouth open
How has she gotten this far in life doing this? Maybe she has a cold, you hope. 

16. Your ex is your date 
Now he goes by his first and middle name? You’d think you were being catfished, if he didn’t seem as surprised as you.
 
17. She’s filled the restaurant with her friends
You sort of get the feeling everyone at this restaurant is just pretending to be out to eat.
 
18. He sees a notification from the dating app that got you there
You left your phone face-up, man. Rookie mistake. Hey, at least you got three new matches! Because your date just left.
 
19. When she starts eating off of your plate
She wasn’t hungry, she said.

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20. They really, really love their pet
No, go ahead. Show me another picture of your pug dressed as a pumpkin. Or this...


21. He has a flimsy understanding of twerking boundaries
Dancing isn’t what it used to be. He wants you to “drop it low, girl.” Maybe you would, but the bar is near empty and there’s no dance floor and The Dave Matthews Band is playing.

22. He sends back his food
It’s wood-fired pizza, you explain, it doesn’t get crispy like he’s expecting. STOP SAYING THAT.

23. He keeps asking for silverware
It’s been in his napkin the whole time. That’s where they keep it. No one has the heart to tell him.

24. She blows her nose into her dinner napkin
That’s not what it’s for. Ew.

25. He keeps over-pronouncing everything
You meet for coffee and he orders a pain au chocolat. Dude, just say croissant -- like a true American.

Everett/Shutterstock

26. She’s mean to the waiter 
It’s too easy to be mean to waiters, because it’s their job to be nice to you. Also, for all you know, his or her band could be about to make it! 

27. She wants to do too much
How are you supposed to get to know someone between go-karts, and this sculpting class, and a wine tasting? Is this some kind of marathon?
 
28. You realize that they're famous/or on TV
Whether they're a G-list realty TV star that didn't get too far on The Bachelor or the vocalist of a band that's pretty much one overplayed song away from worldwide fame, going on even one date with someone famous might lead to your face on tomorrow's tabloid.

29. They take you to see their art show/band performance
Why are you subjecting your date to this? Do you really think you’re that good at the bass?
 
30. The art thingy you go to see turns out to be way more… provocative than you planned
You just wanted her to see you were cultured. Fail.
 
31. She has a bad allergic reaction
“Make sure to ask the chef if the pappardelle has tree nuts in it.” You didn’t.

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