Relationship status: half my bed is for my dog.
I'd love to say the reason I date fewer assholes now than I once did is because of marked maturity and growth. But, that's not really true at all. My improved taste in men has more to do with my BD-versus-AD timeline: before dog and after dog. The reality is, my dog Jez has created a barometer against which I measure potential suitors. All crazy dog people do. If someone can check off these commandments of dating a dog owner, they're ready for a relationship with me.
If my dog doesn't like you, I don't like you
Let's face facts. When it comes to crazy dog people, it's unanimous: if the dog doesn't like you, we don't like you. Jez, my black German shepherd, loves everyone. So if she doesn't, it's a pretty clear sign the person is a serial killer. Do yourself a favor and go in smart with the dog. Bring (healthy) treats. Get to know each other. Because if that dog barks every time you walk up, you won't need to read past this first rule.