I've been reading your column forever! Thanks to you, I've started enjoying sex and being more open about it. Coming from a very conservative family, I was taught that sex is shameful and wrong. But your columns flipped that in my mind.
While traveling to Chicago back in June, I connected with "Z" on Bumble. We decided to meet at his place, kissed in the first hour, and I slept over. It all seemed casual and fine. I visited again in July, and the two of us had the most amazing, intimate weekend together.
Now, we talk on the phone all the time. One day, I sent Z a picture of my parents traveling in Iceland. His response was that he and I should go there ourselves. On a bit of a whim, we've now booked flights and are planning this trip together. The only problem is that now all I can think is that I shouldn't be seeing him again because he's in Chicago and I'm in California. I did fall for him. I don't know what to do. Please help!
This sounds like a classic, ultimate battle of head vs. heart. I think we both know you're not going to let this go and just walk away. Would it be easier? Maybe. But this seems like a real connection. You have feelings for this guy and now you're stuck riding it out. We have all been there.
The heart does not listen to reason.
Z sounds like a nice guy. It does not sound to me like this dude is jerking you around. If I thought he was anything less than totally into you, I would tell you to cut and run like hell. This guy LIKES YOU! I have no doubt about that. It's great that you've gotten to know each other in spite of how difficult it can be to do this stuff long distance.
We can't control how romance takes us. I once met a boy in San Diego when I was 13 and I was positive I was going to marry him. I lived in Chicago at the time (how's that for coincidence?). We talked every single day for two years before I finally decided to move on with my life. Love gets under your skin and makes it impossible to shake.