After chivalrously coming to the rescue of a girl under assault from a dude with the absolute opposite approach to mine (Sidenote: it is never OK for a douchebag bro to just start grinding up on a woman in lieu of saying hello), I was able to bust out an old standard for the first time: the calling card.
My wallet was filled with them, ready to be handed to any ladies who caught my eye. When I handed the recently liberated damsel the first one, all I got was a weird look. When I explained that the obviously un-business card was just my way of telling her I was interested, I got some not-so-encouraging feedback: "Well, that's a nonstarter."
I tried the calling-card trick on other women throughout the night. The responses were consistent: "Sketchy as shit," "Thank you, but I'm not interested," "This must be an age thing," and "Depends on the person, and it’s not you." My personal favorite came from a 30-year-old stunner from Seattle who was, unfortunately, just in town for the night visiting a friend.