Sex Tips for Boring People: Penis Pumps, Yeast Infections, and Lasting Too Long

penis pump
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Do pills and penis pumps actually increase the size of a penis?

Sure, you roll your eyes at inbox spam advertising "proven" ways to get a bigger shlong. But you also probably wonder (wish? Hope? Pray?) if any of these claims could possibly be true. Maybe you even clicked once or twice. We aren't here to judge! That said, hopefully you didn't actually hand over any payment information.

"If only!" says Claire Cavanah, Babeland co-founder and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex. "The average penis size would be, like, 37in, right? Anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I've heard. And I haven't seen any research on a magical, penis-enhancing pill. Pumps can temporarily make the penis look and feel harder, though. That's because the pump draws blood flow to the area. It increases sensitivity and can lead to longer erections. The effect doesn't last, but both of those are great benefits not to be dismissed. Skip the pills."

Can men catch yeast infections from women?

Lady yeast infections can be confusing for men. What exactly is a yeast infection? It's not technically an STD, but you can still get them from unhygienic sex. It's completely curable, but it also is really unpleasant. A yeast infection is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: an infection of the vagina caused by candida fungus. It's itchy, swelly, irritated… and gross. But before you get judgy, fellas, not so fast. Turns out you can get them, too.

According to the Mayo Clinic, "Yeast infections in men are common because the fungus that causes yeast infections is normally present on skin, especially moist skin. When some contributing cavort -- such as having sex with a female partner who has a vaginal yeast infection -- causes an overgrowth of candida, infection can result."

Guys should be on the lookout for moist skin on the penis; areas of shiny, white skin; and redness, itching, or a burning sensation.

What do I do about a boyfriend who takes too long in bed?

While most women are complaining that their men are first to the finish line, there is that rare breed of woman who's lapped him twice. (And this is a problem?!) There are some men who can take a really, really long time to finish. Great for your orgasms, but not great for your mouth and/or vagina.

This could be indicative of a deeper, psychological issue, a byproduct of the man having a few too many drinks, or it could just be a matter of mixing it up. The latter is a tad easier to deal with.

"If the issue is that you get physically tired of pleasing him," says Cavanah, "try other techniques, positions, or sex acts that don't wear out your patience or your muscles. Some things to try: add hand techniques to your oral repertoire, and alternate with a well-lubed masturbation sleeve like the Tenga Egg. For positions, you can switch it up between being on top and on the bottom during penetration."

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist. All of her dates are tax deductible. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter: @drillinjourneys.