Sex on Friday

Nurses and Doctors on the Craziest Time They've Been Hit on at Work

being hit on at work
Daniel Fishel/Thrillist

Watch any cheesy '80s movie or log on to one of a million porn sites and you'll find thousands of scenarios involving hot nurses and sexy doctors. But we totally understand that it's just make believe. Well, MOST of us understand that.

Turns out, plenty of patients (and certain fellow members of the hospital staff) make no distinction between fantasy and reality -- and occasionally cross lines in ways that are so shocking it's hard to believe they're real.

And yet! Here are true stories from doctors and nurses about the totally ridiculous, unacceptable, and occasionally hilarious ways patients have attempted to hit on medical professionals.

Compromised come-ons

"A man once came in for skin grafting on his penis after a bad situation with HPV. As I was handing him his post-procedure instructions, he pointed below and asked, 'So when this thing is fixed, do you want to have dinner?' How about no!" -- Alexis, 33

"I once treated a patient who came in for genital warts and I needed to inject them. As soon as I was down there, he looked at the doctor and said, 'She's hot, huh?' We both looked at each other like, WTF?" -- Jessica, 34

"I had a patient come in with a bad case of herpes and he was claiming he got it from a toilet seat and swore up and down he did not cheat on his wife. He wanted me to confirm this was possible. As I was examining him, he got an erection and said, 'Looks like today isn't such a bad day for me, after all.' I explained I could no longer see him as a patient." -- Michelle, 43

Gynecological gaffes

"My partner once shuffled out of a room red-faced and very upset when a patient told her she was going to have an orgasm if she did her pap smear." -- Jenna, 41

"I once had a patient tell me, 'It's no bigger than anything else that's been inside there,' when I warned her I was about to insert the spatula during her annual exam." -- Jorge, 55

Fantasy land

"My patient told my nurse that he had a dream she gave him a sponge bath and it was so good that he wrote it down and referred back to it." -- Michael, 61

"I work with older patients and one man who was about 75 came in to see me about Viagra. He and I were discussing the pros and cons when he looked at me, dead in the eye, and asked if I could fondle him to see if he could get an erection without it. I was horrified." -- Laila, 45

"I had a patient send me flowers once, thanking me for 'Taking care of my junk better than any other woman in my life.' I was horrified -- but my staff didn't let me live it down." -- Alice, 41

Sketchy stripteases

"I had a female patient come in for a mole check. She was in a gown with a nurse in the room when she simply took the entire thing off in order for me to 'see her better.' I told her it was not necessary and asked her to please put it back on and she said, 'Afraid you'll go from a doctor to just a man, doc?' I told her she was inappropriate and asked my female colleague to see her from then on." -- Michael, 52

"I was working one day setting up my [surgical] room. I was alone, but then the doctor came in. He whispered in my ear about his six-pack, laughed, then pulled his shirt all the way up so I could see it. And then he said, 'I know you want to touch it.' He was hot -- but I didn't touch it." -- Lindsay, 28

"We have a celebrity client who is always hitting on the staff. He's got the creepiest demeanor and somehow thinks he is still as attractive as he was in the '70s when he was a huge playboy. He flirted with me incessantly but I never assisted the doctor with him. One day, we were short-staffed and I was asked to take his blood. He asked me to give him a couple of minutes to make a phone call and I left the room. When I returned, he was butt naked and suggested that he thought it was procedure to change into a hospital gown and needed one. For blood work!" -- Samantha, 29

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Brenda Della Casa is the founder of Badass + Living, the editor-in-chief and digital content strategist for Preston Bailey Designs, as well as author of Cinderella Was a Liar. Check her out on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa.