Sex + Dating

What the contents of your bedroom are saying about you


The place in your domicile where you go to get comfortable has the potential to make women trying to date you the most uncomfortable, since it provides the most intimate portal into your life. Here’s what the contents of your bedroom are saying about you:

  • Photos: Keep at least a few family-filled frames visible, since a lack thereof leaves us wondering whether you’re estranged, embroiled in drama, or -- phew! -- just lacking basic human attachment skills. Also, curb that travel enthusiasm. An arsenal of 4x6s of your adventures makes you a badass. It also makes us wonder if there’s any room for us between BASE jumping and heli-skiing.
  • Non-professional trophies/awards: The only place displaying these achievements doesn’t smack of narcissism is at your parents’ house, where they smack of stale pride. Otherwise, just toss them in the closet next to your yearbooks and tennis racquet like everybody else.
  • Personalized stuff: Who needs photos of your ex when those monogrammed cufflinks on your dresser that she gave you announce her presence even more loudly?
  • Girl props: We can spot items meant solely to impress us from a bed length away. That guitar left out for an impromptu jam session and dog-eared copy of Gravity’s Rainbow on your nightstand couldn’t be more contrived. Unless it was mandolin and a Camus tome.
  • Ironic nostalgia: One item max, and more nostalgia than irony. Your first little league glove or Superman comic? Good. Yoda action figure? Bad, because in the snap decision we’re making about whether we want to do things to you that you can’t do to yourself (unless you’re hella flexible), we may not give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn’t buy it at Urban Outfitters for a hefty markup, rather than rescue it from your childhood basement.