Guys who get on morning shows for elaborate proposals are dicks. And this overachieving Scandinavian is the biggest of all of those dicks, because just look at the sheer scale of what he did for his then-girlfriend. Simply giving a woman a billion-year-old stone created 120 miles under the earth and raised to the surface by a volcano no longer cuts the mustard. Thanks to this guy, now you have to build a goddamn Italian bistro, too: His effort comes off as even more offensively redundant when you consider the fact that he's already a strapping Viking, and he has no competition -- the town only has 110 people in it, and she's probably related to half of them. Thank god there will always be losers like this hooker-loving newlywed to make you look better.