Being tough is part of my survival strategy
I work as a travel writer and photographer, so I spend a lot of my time wandering the world alone, finding my way alone, and trying not to get myself killed. Not only that, but every time I show up to a shoot I have to re-earn respect from male counterparts.
Basically, I have to be tough. All the time. So I don’t get ripped off in the cab. Or get pegged as an ‘emotional female’ if I cry from exhaustion. And just to get picked up for another job. It's become part of who I am -- not some part of me I click off and on. And it's not like armor, that when peeled away exposes some three-ply Charmin softness.
On the plus side, I am one hell of a person to have around in an emergency. And to ask for practical advice. And to travel with. And depend on. And a million other things.
It’s not all or nothing with someone like me
For some reason if a girl is emotional and cries all the time, but then toughens up and stands up to her boss, guys understand. But if a girl who is tough and hard tries to show affection, it’s not allowed. I remember crying in front of my guy friends once. They froze in fear.
My more typical version of showing I care is stocking your favorite beer in my fridge and cleaning up that one area of my apartment you hate. I get it, it’s not showering you in kisses or sending heart and smiley emojis.
Please don’t make me do that shit. Please. I’ll set my alarm for you in the morning, and get you coffee the way you like it. That, my friends, is my version of love; in the actions, in the details. If your name is in my phone, I talk to you, and make time for you, YOU MEAN SOMETHING TO ME. I just happen to be more comfortable high-fiving than holding hands.
And best of all, I'm completely drama-free
All right, so there are some tough breaks in the dating world when you’re a little tougher, harder, or less emotional than the average girl. But the best part of dating someone like me is enjoying a drama-free relationship.
I’m not saying I don’t ever feel jealous or get fixated on issues. But I definitely don't let those moments run my life or ruin my relationships. I might take longer to open up to someone, but once I'm in, I'm in. Problems and arguments get addressed and corrected. I'm devoted. I'm honest. And I don't fake my vulnerability.
Most guys react in one of two ways: happiness or disenchantment. Those demonstrating the former are undoubtedly keepers.