Sex Tips for Boring People

Sex Tips for Boring People: Boner Problems, Locking Jaws, and Too Much Porn

What is a normal amount of erectile dysfunction for a guy in his 30s?

Well, all things considered, it's not really "normal" for a guy in his 30s to have ED. I'm sure at some point you gentlemen might have heard the expression, "It happens to every guy!" And true, it does, but typically not THAT often in your 30s.

"Men in their 30s do not generally experience ED, unless it's situational -- related to stress, anxiety, or past trauma," says Dr. Ian Kerner, licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sexuality counselor.

"If a man in his 30s is experiencing ED and it’s not situational, it could be a side effect of medication, or an indication that something else might be going on in terms of health. For example, men with heart disease often show erectile disorder as one of the first symptoms. Some men that over-masturbate may also experience situational erectile disorder. Lifestyle also plays a factor: smoking, drinking, diet, exercise. Of the men I see in practice who have ED, about one in five are in their 30s and experiencing situational ED."

My jaw locks during blow jobs. What do I do?

Now this IS something that has happened to everyone. Blow jobs are exactly that... a job. No matter how much we might enjoy giving them. It's still a lot of work, and especially if homeboy decides he'd like to take the scenic route. That said, there are a few easy things we can do to make this task a little more pleasurable for everyone involved and give our jaws a break.

Lockjaw during BJs usually happens if you are keeping the whole penis in your mouth for the duration of the blow job. But in life it's all about variety, and mixing it up -- which will be great for his penis and even GREATER for your jaw. Consider a smorgasbord of moves when giving a blow job, like licking, kissing, hand work, etc. You can start at the tip, spend a little time on the shaft, and EVEN make your way to the balls. This will ensure that he's constantly surprised, and your mouth constantly gets a break. Also, the more foreplay leading up to a blow job, the more turned on he's going to be and the faster you will get the job done.

How much porn is too much?

With something like this, it really is difficult to quantify an amount as "normal," unless we're crossing over into something like addiction. In which case, if the amount of porn you’re watching is starting to affect your relationships and daily routine, that's probably too much.

"Most men who watch porn are masturbating to it," says Dr. Kerner, "but it's not necessarily that the porn is the problem. One could argue that the porn makes it easy and opportunistic to masturbate, and sometimes there can be negative effects of too much masturbation -- lack of desire for partnered sex if a guy has recently masturbated, or occasionally the development of an idiosyncratic masturbatory style, which could cause some erectile impairment or ejaculatory inhibition.

"But the porn is not the problem in this case, and it’s hard for me to generalize about porn use. I have worked with many young men who have never had a non-porn-based masturbatory orgasm, and I think they’re missing out on an opportunity to develop their own erotic database... but this is a personal opinion and not necessarily a problem."

Bottom line, says the doctor? "The main problem with too much porn/masturbation is when it detracts significantly from a desire for partnered sex." 

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist. All of her dates are tax deductible. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @drillinjourneys.