Whether you want to see us again or not, post-hookup decorum is a must.Even the guys from Jersey Shore provide their conquests with sweatpants and a taxi home, and those are dudes who high-five during sex. So when it’s your turn to slink into blinding daylight, how should you choreograph your exit?
- Be conscious of our consciousness: Guys who leave while we’re still sleeping are cowards... or ninjas. For the former, pulling this classless move will help us realize what a selfish dude you are. For the latter... well, you're ninjas, so you're cool with us.
- Slow down: Don't be the guy that accidentally marches with purpose into our hall closet. A relaxed departure speed -- bonus for self-deprecating banter about your rumpled clothes or bedhead -- will make your escape less awkward, for both of us. And remember that the likelihood of physical blunders is elevated in unfamiliar apartments.
- Hurry up: You aren't the only one who wants you gone. If you're getting cagey, we’re already wishing we could either A) call our best friend and rehash the details or B) sit on the floor of our shower and rinse off the shame and mascara.
- Don’t ask for our number: ...unless you intend to actually use it, and start the cycle all over again.