First things first: what exactly is a libido?
Our libidos, or sex drives, are often considered on par with the body's need for water or food: inescapable, animalistic, and necessary for survival.
But as Dr. Emily Nagoski explains in her book Come as You Are, the sex drive is not a drive. Like, not at all. She calls libidos "incentive motivational systems;" things inside our brains that make us want to go toward attractive things... like other sexy human beings. But the lack of sex will not kill us. Seriously. It won't.
As with many different human motivational systems, our sexual motivational systems are set up very differently in different human beings. "Even though we’re all made of the same parts," Dr. Nagoski says, "the different organizations of those parts results in different experiences."
In her book, Dr. Nagoski breaks down some of the most common types of sexual desire including the popular and much-sought-after "spontaneous" desire (sexual urges seemingly arising out of thin air) to the less valued responsive and contextualized desire (sexy feelings that grow within an erotic context like during foreplay). However, she points out all people are a mixture of these desires. Seventy-five percent of men and 15% of women describe their sex drives as primarily spontaneous; with 30% of women and 5% of men claiming to be more responsive. That still means that about half of all women and 20% of all men fall somewhere in between -- so it's awfully hard to draw a line between two every-graying genders to determine who's more sexual.