Go big or go home
Until this experiment, I’m proud to say I'd only been to the mega-retailer exactly three times -- two of which happened during a road trip through Canada, because it was the only place stocking affordable cheese. (Damn the Canadian dairy cartel. I won’t even comment on milk, butter, or ice cream prices.)
I'm the kind of gal who supports small businesses, hates McDonald's, and refuses to buy toilet paper in bulk. Big-box retailers like Costco and IKEA have been known to induce full-blown panic attacks. Still, I like to save money, so I semi-understand the appeal.
Prior to my big Walmart adventure, I spent way too much time thinking about what to wear. Sure, I could've gone with something safe, like slippers and pajama bottoms (actual outfits seen on all my Walmart visits). Instead, I decided to wear something suggestive, but not overly so. I mean come on -- I was shopping on a Friday afternoon. And even though it was the week before Valentine’s Day, I really didn't think fashion overkill would be necessary. There had to be some lovelorn dude shopping for lightbulbs in need of a date. I paired a scoop-neck top and a not-too-tight mini with just a hint of red thong. Frye ankle boots seemed like sensible footwear. In case my intentions were unclear, I wore a swipe of red lip gloss. Let me tell you: I looked pretty fucking hot. This was no trip to the dog park.