Free Porn Day Is Mostly Just Another Scam to Get Your Email Address

Free Porn Day is billed as a liberated holiday during which porn is accessible to everyone for a glorious 24-hour free-for-all. Sadly for all of us, in reality the whole campaign appears to just be a poorly veiled marketing scam to get you to subscribe to porn.

More than half of the participating sites we perused asked us to make a username and password to gain access to "unlimited" porn. If you give these sites your email address, you can bet your bottom dollar (pun intended) that you'll be getting emails from a variety of porn sites for the rest of your damn life. Or, that your information will be hacked and shared with everyone on the planet.

No email, no porn. What a tangled web, huh?

Look, I'm the first to admit that free porn from RedTube is incredibly janky, but Free Porn Day is supposed to be sacred. I guess nothing is, not even free dong and naked ladies.

Free Porn Day should be called: Endless Emails From Porn Sites Because You Wanted to Watch Free Porn on Free Porn Day.

No thank you, very much. I went through and did some digging so you know what you're getting on every site. Some of them actually are free (see below).

Of the featured participating sites, here are the ones requiring logins:

Adult Movies
When you get to the site, it wants you to make an actual login for 24-hour, unlimited access -- but requires your email and password to do so.

HotMovies
You get taken through a short labyrinth of screens to get to the "free porn," only to be met with a requirement to log in and apply the "Free Porn Day" access code. I will not be fooled.

MetArt
The site requires an email address and for you to "verify it" in order to access your "free" account.

Grooby Transexuals
Requires you to make a login with an email and password.

Harmony Vision
This site actually has a really hot two-minute video you can watch for free (LOL), but to get to any of the good shit you have to go through and enter your name, email, and password… no.

Nubiles Porn
This one doesn't even pretend it's free. You get on there and it just asks you to choose your plan, the lowest of which is $15 for a month of porn. It's not expensive, but come on. it's supposed to be Free Porn Day!

Club Seventeen
OK, so this site is just plain disgusting. The site claims all the girls on here are 18-plus, but it's still called "Club Seventeen" and it looks like everyone's at summer camp. AND THEY WANT YOUR EMAIL. NO AND NO.

GameLink
Not only does GameLink want your email, but you only get 15 minutes of free access. WTF.

Dirty Comics
They want your username, password, and email just to see the site. You don't even get a raunchy comic preview.

VividCeleb
Here is where you can watch all your favorite celeb sex tapes. Unfortunately not without actually subscribing for a $5/month membership.

Here are the ones you can watch FOR FREE:

Erotica X
High-quality and free.

Kink
OK. Kink actually will let you watch the videos. I only watched and clicked through two because I'm at work and sit behind a glass conference room.

ActiveDuty
This gay porn site is an actual sport. You can watch all the amateur videos FOR FREE. That's what I call patriotic.

Evil Angel
Don't be fooled. It says you have to sign up for the membership under the videos but you can watch them for free today.

Yanks
This porn is mad amateur, but it's FREE AF and the women are real-looking. I don't know when this article became a porn review.

VideoBox
Totally free. YAY.

You're better off sticking to all the already-free porn saturating the internet, or not straying from that tried-and-true site you've already coughed up money (and your email address) for.

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Gigi is Thrillist's Sex and Dating staff writer. Her porn is free. Follow her lovable crazy on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @GigiEngle.