What's the best way to handle it when a guy can't get it up?
Calling unnecessary attention to it is NOT the answer to that question. He 100% feels worse about it than you do. You're probably thinking, "Meh, OK. Guess I'm not having sex tonight." He's thinking, "I wish I was dead." Be sensitive! This is the male equivalent of you farting while he's going down on you.
"Move on to other behaviors," says Dr. Kat. "Many guys know this will happen occasionally and that it isn't a big deal, so you need to reinforce that and not stigmatize the issue. Keep the play going. Maybe he knows that a different position or oral might help. Ask him if he wants to continue and what might help. Some guys may want to take a little break and revisit it in a few minutes. See if he can continue being physical in between even if it's just kissing, fondling, massage, or cuddling. It will help you both stay engaged, with no expectations -- but [also] help you to not feel like you're starting from square one."