Dig in your heels
But all’s not lost. There are ways for you to find someone decently interesting to spend your time with, without giving up on dating altogether or resigning yourself to being the third wheel in perpetuity.
“For every five first dates you go on,” Kerner suggested, “pick someone to go on a second date with before you go on another first date. Get in the habit of limiting your options and exploring the depth of the dating pool -- not the diameter.”
Also, take a breath and give more chances. Limiting your judgments to a five-second profile perusal or sucky first date doesn’t take into account the nuanced world of photogenics, first-date jitters, “off” days, and actually getting to know each other. Forgive awkward conversation or one-liners that rub you the wrong way. And don’t stop at a second date -- if you see even a little potential, allow yourself time to see what develops.
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Nicole Caldwell is Thrillist’s Sex & Dating editor and a devoted second-dater.