Real Women on Everything You Do Wrong Going Down on Them

Man giving bad head
Jason Hoffman/Thrillist

It's a no-brainer that good oral skills are essential to fantastic foreplay. However, there's a whole lot more to cunnilingus than just a willingness to perform the act.

With so many partners eager to please, it's a shame that just so many are doing it wrong. But here's the good news: being good with your tongue is something you can easily learn. And who better to offer a master class than those experiencing your efforts? Here, 15 women share the ways to get down downtown.

Vaginas need no spit-shining, teeth, or head-wagging

"Please do not spit on me unless I specifically ask you to. Yuck!" -- Natasha, 26

"I hate when men are super aggressive, shaking their heads side to side while wagging their tongues everywhere. Or the hard press of his finger on my clitoris, making me wonder if he understands its sensitivity. That's my cue to tap him on the shoulder and pretend I'm so excited to have him inside me that I'll reluctantly forgo the 'amazing' oral. Of all my sexual partners, a seldom few have gotten it almost right. Once I find that man who truly does it right, I won't ever let him go!" -- Nadine, 37

"Simply put, NO TEETH. I was with this man once who apparently thought it was hot to bite my clit. I heard before that men were dogs, but my clit is not a chew toy." -- Dana, 25

"Guys who get gross with it are not sexy. You should lick it, not try and get your face into my womb." -- Veronica, 39

We want more, done right

"No complaints in this department except that there could be more of it. My partner devotes his full attention when pleasuring me and sets out with a goal to make me orgasm. With just the right amount of tongue play -- both slow and slightly aggressive -- I almost always finish. I wouldn't mind if a finger was introduced once in a while, but it hasn't been necessary." -- Valerie, 37

"Assuming you just know what the other person will like is a big no-no. Please ask me what feels good or what I like and I will do the same." -- Callie, 34

"I cannot stand when men say things like, 'I don't do that' based on some old-school idea that it makes them less of a man. In my opinion, it makes you a better partner, period." -- Macy, 42

"Oral sex as a woman is so frustrating because rarely does a man get it right, or even close to right. I'm a woman and I know damn well how to give oral to a man and make his toes curl... so why can't they figure it out?!" -- Mandy, 30

Yes, we like butt stuff

"I know it might be a TMI, but I love it when they move back and forth from my clit to my anus. YUM." -- Stacey, 32

"I once had a guy insert a finger into my ass when he did it and I never came so hard." -- Darla, 35

And there are some other go-to techniques

"Do it in unexpected places. Stop me from getting into the shower, get on your knees, and start going at it. Women like that sort of thing too." -- Kelsey, 33

"I love it when a guy uses his whole tongue and then just the tip. Alternating between the two will send me straight to heaven." -- Morgan, 31

"The best oral technique my boyfriend has is to pay attention to what makes me moan. If he licks somewhere and I don't really react he quickly moves on. If he finds a place that has me squirming, he'll stay there -- but after a few minutes, he might put a finger or two in me to mix things up so I don't get bored." -- Sabrina, 28

You will almost always get an A for effort

"I like a man who is enthusiastic about going down on me. There is nothing worse than having a guy give you oral like he has to. Ever had a lackluster blow job, guys? Not fun." -- Brigette, 38

"I love it when a guy talks about how much he loves it before he does it. Honestly, that is the best foreplay for foreplay ever!" -- Veronica, 37

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Brenda Della Casa is Preston Bailey Designs' editor-in-chief and digital content strategist, founder and editor-in-chief of Badass + Living, and author of Cinderella Was a Liar. Check her out on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: @BrendaDellaCasa.