Or make your own sex toys
If you want to save money and prevent waste, look no further than your own home. A cutting board makes a fantastic paddle. A clean thigh sock is a easily washable and non-abrasive bondage rope. A pair of panties makes a nifty mouth gag -- and why not use that clean cucumber for something other than a salad? I'll be in the kitchen, honey.
Don't buy toy cleaner
Wash your sex toys, but use a non-corrosive, natural, and biodegradable soap along with a little warm water. Allow the toy to air dry. Adult novelty shops and retailers will always offer adult toy cleaner, but the truth is, you don't need all of those plastic bottles for extra cash.
Turn your sex toys into art
If you live in Alabama, this is a crime. If you live in Portland, this is street art.
Take the batteries out of your toy when it's not being used
This prevents corrosion caused by leaking batteries. If you feel that the strength in your favorite vibe is beginning to weaken, don't throw the batteries away. You can still use them for your remote.
Ah, the things I learned as a porn clerk.
Have sex parties
"Unplug for a while and be the entertainment," says pioneering pornographer Annie Sprinkle, PhD. Sex parties are relatively easy to organize; set some clear rules and boundaries. Yes to light drink and refreshments. Yes to protection and understanding consent. No to Snapchat.
"Eco sex means that we don't just treat the Earth like our mother, but we treat the Earth like our lover," SprinkIe says. "Get outside, feel the nettles against your skin, feel the sunshine on your body. Our bodies are made of mostly water. So when you have sex, make waves, whether it's big splashes or little ripples."
Our generation is living longer, and having more sexual partners, but it makes sense to listen to our foremothers from the era of free love and peace. If you're a modern millennial with a few partners in rotation, doesn't it make sense to reduce, recycle, and reuse when you hit the sheets? Now you, too, can help save Gaia when you're effing.
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Elle is a conservationist and feminist killjoy who has a decent sex life. Nurture your biases with her on Twitter: @ellestanger.