If you can fart around your significant other, ribald romantics often note, it’s a sign you’ve found your soulmate.
I’m not necessarily buying that. Farting is gross, and nobody, not even the love of your life, would want to be within 15ft of you when you let one rip. Maybe this whole line of thinking is just a thing guys invented so they could feel justified farting around their girlfriends?
All this is a rather long-winded (!) way of saying that I fart a lot, which makes it uncomfortable hanging out with my girlfriend for long stretches of time. It is often the case that I will sneak off for a quick bung blast when she’s not looking, but there are instances, of course, when that’s just not possible. Over time, I’ve managed to perfect some pretty fool-proof techniques both men and women can use to secretly -- and safely -- fart around their significant others. Or really, anyone else you’d prefer not notice you let it fly.