Bathrooms don’t hide as much sound as we think, so if you can also turn on the fan and perhaps the sink, then all the better. Throw in a cough, too, just to be safe. Oh yeah, also activate any fans if that’s an option. Make sure your partner isn’t going in right after you, and try to leave the door slightly ajar so the room can air out gradually.
The piecemeal fart
Done right, this is one of the most efficient techniques. You have to know that you’re capable of releasing the fart in bits and pieces until it’s fully out of your system. It can’t be so big that it comes out entirely when you start squeezing. (Those are best for the bathroom.) If you push out a bit here, a bit there, over the course of five or 10 minutes, no one will be the wiser.
This method is most practical when you’re eating dinner, preferably out at a restaurant, so your significant other can’t see what’s going on below the table as you carefully flex your sphincter to siphon out the gas. Be mindful that your facial expressions don’t give it away. Take a sip of your drink when you do it, just in case, so your face is partially hidden.