Sex + Dating

Signs a Woman Is Into You That You're Completely Missing

signs a woman is into you
Oren Aks/Thrillist

The classic signs of attraction are pretty universal for both sexes: eye contact, body language, touch... the stuff you hear about all the time.

But there are also some more subtle signs, which you may have missed while trying to impress her with your amazing wit. Here are some not-so-obvious things to watch for that will definitively tell you this person is into you.

She asks you questions

When you're on a date with a girl who likes you, she'll ask you all kinds of questions about your life, family, and job. If she's not into you, she'll be very quiet or only talk about herself.

A question signifies interest. It helps to build conversation and a genuine connection. She's also trying to figure out if she wants to see you again.

She remembers details

If she remembers the things you tell her -- what your dad does for a living, how you take your coffee, and where you went to college -- SHE LIKES YOU. Even if it's just an hour later, this is a really good sign. When people aren't paying attention or have no interest in what you're saying, all those little details escape their memories.

Sure, women remember things about their platonic friends too -- but this a great first sign that she's listening and trying to figure you out.

She initiates physical contact

Obviously, there's a wide spectrum of desired physical contact for men and women. Some are more touchy than others; and you shouldn't discount a woman just because she's shy about touching you. Especially on a first date -- no reason to assume someone who you just met is going to be all over you.

That said, if she touches your arm while the two of you are talking, puts a hand on your shoulder when she laughs, and isn't afraid to hug you, she's feeling your vibe.

She stays off her phone when you're together

I don't even put my phone away when I'm at a movie theater. We are a generation addicted to our phones. If she puts it away and pays attention to you entirely, this is really good. It means she values spending time with you over social media.

It may seem like a small gesture, but it's a big deal to disconnect in favor of a face-to-face interaction. You being more important than her cellphone is a huge win.

She's kind of mean to you

This is all about playful flirting, not actually being nasty. If she teases you a little bit, she is definitely into you. If she's super, super mean to you, she probably really does NOT like you -- and we have to stop encouraging people to assume assholes are Prince(ss) Charming in disguise.

If she calls you a dork for loving Bruce Springsteen, that's teasing. If she tells you to screw off because you're a pompous asshat or belittles you in any way, she's not worth your time.

She texts you back right away

This is a sign that she feels you, and that she's a mature lady who doesn't want to play games. If a person tells you they're not a big texter, most of the time it's because they don't want to text YOU back that much. If she's texting you back all day, every day, she digs you.

Please do keep in mind that getting back to you isn't an invitation for you to send a million texts while this person is also trying to have a life, a job, friends, etc. That just gets weird.

She'll take public transportation to hang out with you

If you notice that you're in her neighborhood for every date, it can mean she's not that invested in the relationship. Someone who likes you will take any means necessary to get to you: bus, subway, Uber, rickshaw... And you ought to be returning the favor.

She never asks to reschedule

If a woman changes the time, location, or day of your rendezvous, she doesn't see you as a top priority. This does not fare well for your chances of winning her over. It means she would rather stay at home, isn't willing to put in the effort to see you, or something better came along.

It's OK if she reschedules on you once. Hey, life happens. But if she does it multiple times, she's not that into you and you should move on.

She literally tells you she's into you

A really good sign, the ultimate sign, and the sign most men totally forget is to LISTEN to what a woman is saying. If a woman is interested in you, a lot of the time she's going to tell you.

If she says she's not really sure she's feeling it, says she has "a lot going on right now," or takes a full day (or two!) to get back to you, just leave her alone because she is NOT down. A lack of interest is really OK. Remember: You win some, you lose some -- and you don't convince people to be more interested in you than they are.

We're all getting a little old for playing games.

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Gigi Engle is Thrillist's Sex and Dating staff writer. She's probably not into you, but you dodged a bullet because she's crazy. Follow her on Twitter, iTunesFacebook, and Instagram @GigiEngle.