OK, so you found out your partner is cheating. I'm really sorry, man. That sucks.
The good news is this: You get to call the philandering jerk out for being a cheating POS and it's going to be so very vindicating.
The problem? Revenge, when executed poorly, can come served with a steaming pile of crazy. Don't fall for some of these common mistakes.
Don't call someone out without knowing for sure they actually cheated on you
First things first, you better be completely and totally sure your partner is cheating. Do not EVER accuse someone of cheating without multiple forms of evidence (your suspicions do not count). You better wait for them to do something ACTUALLY sketchy before you even start digging.
And don't go sniffing around for proof after the first time your S.O. stays late at work or meets up with their old college friends for happy hour. It is NEVER COOL to snoop through people's things if they're not doing anything to trigger your invasion of privacy. If you're snooping through your boyfriend or girlfriend’s phone and/or following him or her around town trying to catch them in the act of something that's completely in your own head, there is clearly something already VERY wrong in the relationship: you.
If your partner is staying super late at work, multiple times a week, all of a sudden, spending a lot of time with his work wife at the bar, or comes home smelling like another woman’s perfume...yeah, obviously that's sketchy.
Being a jealous person is no good for relationships. Ask for advice from people you care about and trust before dipping into homeboy's Facebook Messenger and emails. First things first, he has to have done something(s) worth being suspicious over.
Don't let emotions get the best of you
When the time comes to call this lying scum out, you want to be composed.
Instead of seeing something sketchy and immediately getting in your partner's face, take your time gathering evidence and laying out the facts. Then, prepare yourself. Meditate if you need to. Jot down some notes. You need to come to the argument with a hard, pragmatic attitude. You want to be Olivia Benson, not Jenna Maroney.
Don't let the tables get turned on you
It's not your fault your partner was using Facebook on your phone or computer and never logged out. Or if you were using their phone and messages or Tinder matches started popping up. Obviously you shouldn't have been hacking into BAE's messages and emails or reading journal entries; but if something was left open or you've got due cause for concern (not just your jealous tendencies), that's a little different.
You calling your partner out for cheating has the potential to quickly dissolve into an accusatory, "Why were you looking through my things?" backlash. So stay on topic: This is ultimately about the fact that your partner cheated. Don't allow the tables to be turned on you.
Don't blame the other person instead of your partner
A big mistake we often make is blaming the person our partner cheated with instead of our actual partner. Keep the side chick/dude OUT of this. He or she had nothing to do with your partner cheating. The side piece wasn't the one cheating, your partner was.
The other person in this equation wasn't sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend to hurt you. Keep it together and give blame where blame is due.
Don't pretend you didn't do something crazy if you actually did
If things get out of control and you really are losing it, just remember this: This person cheated on you. They betrayed you. So who actually cares if you look crazy for a hot second?
Your partner may do whatever he or she can to make you look insane, but you already have multiple forms of evidence, right? He or she just wants to find any defense on hand; and tearing you down is the only one there is. Keep your cool if your soon-to-be-ex wants to get mad at you for going through their phone. Don't pretend you didn't do something crazy, if you did the crazy thing. If you went through their messages, just say so. It doesn't even matter anymore.
Remember: They slept with someone else. Bye, Felicia! Go have a slut-fest. You deserve it.