Like its name suggests, companionate love implies commitment, attachment, and companionship; and NOT the insane, can't-live-without-you, can't-think-of-anything-else sensations so many of us have felt. Of course, you don't have to actually be in a relationship to feel limerence. This candle burns at both ends: Limerence is the spark that ignites a relationship... and the house fire in your heart when one ends.
Limerence is normal (to a point)
Feeling limerent? You're not alone. There's an entire subreddit dedicated to this obsessive pain-in-the ass (and heart) of an emotion. And it's not necessarily your fault. In her book, Tennov assures readers that limerence is involuntary and 100% normal... until it’s not. Once it starts to interfere with your day-to-day life (like, say, repeatedly driving by your ex's house to see if the lights are on, or checking his or her Facebook feed several dozen times a day), your limerence has crossed the line into something significantly more sinister. And creepy. And harder to stop.
Psychologist Albert Wakin believes that this condition can be so serious, it deserves a place in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Makes sense, considering at its most extreme limerence can cause decades-long obsessions and compulsions that teeter-totter on the verge of insanity (and grounds for restraining orders).