Consider your environment
“To orgasm, you need to be fully relaxed,” says Block. “If you’re worried about rolling over onto a pizza stain on the sheets, you aren’t going to come.”
Make a mental checklist. Does this room stink? Can we scream like banshees (i.e. are you home alone)? Is there a piece of pizza on this bed? Clean up, make it smell nice, turn down the lights and get some candles going.
Lose track of time
“When it comes to having an orgasm, there’s no such thing as taking too long,” says Block. “The longer the tease, the more fulfilling the please.”
Women take roughly the same amount of time as men to come -- but remember that penetration alone doesn’t count toward time on task the same way external clit stimulation does (sorry fellas!). In order to keep things ticking along smoothly, remove any clocks, phones or devices that keep track of time from the room.
Communication is key
The key to great sex is communication. If you know what you like, show and tell your partner. In a perfect world, each of you should be as committed to the other’s pleasure as you are to your own. Get to know your body through masturbation, then advocate for your orgasm. Block talks with her partner before, during, and after sex. They both ask for what they want; and post-climax, they “debrief.” Talking about your experiences will make your next orgasm even better.
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Charyn Pfeuffer is a Seattle-based freelance writer whose sex education began as a pre-teen listening to Dr. Ruth’s late-night show on her Sony Walkman. Follow her on Twitter: @charynpfeuffer.