“The key is to pay attention to your partner the whole time. Do they seem into it? If you can’t tell, you check. It’s really as straightforward as that.”
Let’s say you’re hooking up and want to move on to the next act. If you’re not certain your partner is into it, you might just ask, “Does that feel good?” If their response is noncommittal, Friedman says, put the brakes on. Try something like "You sure you're into this?" or "Do you want to do something else?"
Difficulties can arise when you get an answer you don’t want. “It can be hard to hear ‘no’ when you're really turned on, but trying to ‘get away with’ sex is a really dangerous attitude,” Friedman says. “You don't want to convince yourself you have consent on some kind of technicality. Also, sex with someone who isn't really into it -- why would you even want that?”