I’ve always found that the meaner I am to someone, the more they want to have sex with me.
"He who cares the least," and all that jazz. I’m kidding. Kind of. I'm also, apparently, wrong. Science now says that how nice you are directly and positively correlates to how much sex you have.
In other words, I’m never getting laid again. So, there’s that.
If there was ever a better reason to be kind to people, I’d love to know.
Good deeds = more doing the deed
A new study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that that the more “good deeds” you do, the more you’ll actually do the deed.
The data that led to these findings was gathered from 800 unmarried men and women who were asked to self-report on their tendencies toward charitable activities as well as their sexual histories. Altruistic actions didn't need to be grandiose to count -- anything from donating to a charity to giving blood or just helping classmates all seem to correspond with more notches on the bedpost.
The study included answering yes-or-no to statements such as "members of the opposite sex that I like tend to like me back" and "I can have as many sexual partners as I choose." Creepy.
These self-reporting participants who had high scores for being kind also claimed to be debonair with the opposite sex, have sex with more people, have more casual sexual partners, and enjoy more frequent sex within a serious relationship.
Honestly, considering these stats are based on "self-reports," I don’t know how much I believe them. I mean, I know I say I have a lot more sex than I actually do. And I know most people would exaggerate the level of self-giving to which they subscribe. The whole thing seems a little fishy to me. I guess we had better hope that these altruistic people are also not LIARS.
From an evolutionary perspective, we may be acting nice in order to get laid
“It appears that altruism evolved in our species, in part, because it serves as a signal of other underlying desirable qualities, which helps individuals reproduce,” says lead researcher Professor Arnocky.
If charity and altruism can be seen as signals that things are going well for the person doing the giving, maybe seeing someone act like a decent human being taps into our primitive mode of selecting strong, healthy partners to reproduce with. maybe the underlying desirable qualities are good health, economic success, overall social desirability… or what the study refers to as "higher mating success."
I may not know what all those “underlying” desirable qualities are, exactly -- but I can tell you I’m tempted to sign up to volunteer at a soup kitchen right about now.