Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a weekly column in which sex and relationships writer Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes to anal, unrequited love to cheating: We want to hear it all.
For questions on relationships, sex, or anything else, email Gigi at AskGigi@thrillist.com.
Dear Auntie G,
I met this guy online and we instantly hit it off. We live in different cities, but he was coming to mine in a few months so we planned to meet up.
I had second thoughts about meeting him; so when he came to town, I was waiting for him to convince me. But instead, he said it was OK if I couldn't. We ended up not seeing each other. I felt bad about that, and figured it would be the last time I'd hear from him.
But as soon as he got back home, he messaged me saying he was sad we hadn't been able to see each other. Since then, we've exchanged messages here and there. Nothing deep, but our conversations are always pleasant and enjoyable. I like him, but maybe he talks to me only when he's bored. I can't figure him out. Should I continue talking to him? I'm going to be in his city soon and don't know if I should see him. Help!
Dazed & Confused
Dear Dazed & Confused,
Going from online to meeting someone in real life is nerve-racking -- even if online dating is the new normal. You meet someone on an app or website, talk about everything, and then when it comes time to meet you can't help asking yourself questions like, Is this guy a serial killer? What if he looks nothing like his pictures? What if he likes the online version of me better than the real-life version of me?
We've all been there. It's a lot easier to be cool, calm, and witty when you have time to actually think and write out your responses. Having to emulate that same level of hilariousness in real life is a challenge. It's enough for any of us to ditch the whole date entirely and throw that prospect in the bin.