“Let’s be honest," she said. "You walk in, and it’s a spa. They have Sabon diffusers.”
When I was interviewing her, she was in fact in niddah, so when she asked her husband for a glass of water, he went as far as to place it on the table beside her as opposed to handing it to her directly. “You see that?” she said, with the faintest eye roll. My friend is very much Orthodox, but is of her own admission someone who “likes to dance around the lines of what [Jews] are supposed to do.”
Despite her casual attitude, my friend believes in tradition and the ways it can benefit a relationship. “During this period," she said, "you have to engage in talking to your spouse, and it’s more or a spiritual connection. At least, that’s how I’ve come to understand it."
What’s on the menu?
Let’s say you married to a nice Jewish boy or girl. You’ve got the green light to get down, but can you go down, around, and through the back? Kind of.
"What is agreed upon is that regular is best,” explained one of my sources. “Face-to-face intercourse is a preferable means because it makes it an intimate act, as you literally and metaphorically face each other."