Why do men feel bad after ejaculating?
This is one of the universe's more complex riddles, much like the Sphinx or Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi. It's not like men don't want to cum. In fact, all signs point to the fact that they definitely, absolutely, 100% DO want to cum. Yet for some men, even after they achieve the ultimate in pleasure, they feel emotionally shitty. What could possibly be the problem?
"Men may feel sad or have feelings of despair after intercourse and ejaculation," says Dr. Michael Krychman, executive medical director at The Sexual Health Center in Orange County, CA. "This is a normal phenomena and has often been described in the literature. For some men, sex is an expression of power and with ejaculation their power has been expended." In fact, as Krychman points out, this has been a historic problem -- and well-documented phenomenon. "Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster," wrote the Greek physician Galen, sometime around 150 AD.
... And they say women are complicated.
How does PTSD affect sex lives?
PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is a very real condition that affects victims of trauma, like war, rape, violence, etc. For most people afflicted with PTSD, it is a lifelong condition that manifests differently, some ways more obviously than others. And unfortunately, bedroom fun-time can be an area where PTSD rears its head.
"If people are traumatized severely they can often experience severe sexual ramifications from the trauma," Dr. Krychman says. "For instance, rape victims, people who have had coercive sex, unwanted rough sex, or even those who expire sexual pain syndromes, may present low libido or avoid sexual behavior. Women who have been sexually molested as young children may experience higher levels of pelvic muscle hypertonus, vaginismus, or even sexual pain syndromes. Dealing with the underlying trauma is a step in the correct direction to help reclaim your sexual independence and control."