Dating emotionally healthy men moved my life forward
I knew I had to do something when I had no energy for anything else in my life. Friendships, and even my career, took a dive.
It was after all that insanity and a few months of being pleasantly alone, that I met Mr. Nice Guy. Dating him was enlightening -- it had the totally opposite effect. Being respected and listened to helped me become a bigger person. I suddenly felt like traveling again. I was more independent in my own life. I acted braver at work. My overall quality of life soared while I dated the good guy.
My everyday was free of any drama and turmoil. It felt good -- and it let me focus on what is truly important to me.
Mr. Nice Guy wasn't Mr. Right Guy. It was hard, but I still came out of that relationship in one piece -- a big difference from the chaos that went down before. Love can make us all bitter and irrational sometimes, sure. But at the end of the day, a good guy will always be there for you and want what's best for you. It's impossible to be upfront and honest with someone who's being cryptic and weird. I've tried it. You just get shut down so many times, you start to edit what you're saying.
I was never able to let my guard down with or seek solace in Mr. Big. But that nice guy accepted me, even in our breakup, exactly as I am.
I learned not to waste my precious time
Being a millennial is all about the hustle. I'm a typical 20-something juggling a gym membership, career networking, hanging out with friends, family, and, OK, I admit it -- a crippling wanderlust and over-the-top addiction to Netflix-and-chilling.
Dating requires time, effort, and money. So if anything or anyone is going to cause me to divert funds from my South American travel fund AND make me skip an evening watching Orange Is the New Black, it better be good. A date with a nice guy is worth it... even if we don't hit it off. Somebody who goes on about himself while I drown myself inside a cocktail? Not so much.
Men with manners, compassion, and sweetness are gems. I appreciate that. Seriously, I swipe left on at least 50 photos a day of cocky men posing with guitars, next to waterfalls, and looking pensive on boats. Thanks to Tinder, women are more aware than ever how many bad matches are out there. But we're also getting better at weeding them out for the good ones.