I hadn't been on a decent date in over a year, and this date was definitely better than decent. Standing on the stoop of my building, he gently brushed the hair from my face and softly whispered goodnight in my ear. Swoon.
When he didn't text me the next day, the anxious spiral began. Did he like me? Should I message him? He was all I could think about. My mind created decision trees of actions I could take and probable reactions. After weighing all possibilities, I texted him at 5am: "hey."
He'd said on our date that he wakes up at 6am, and in my frenzy it seemed perfectly reasonable to call him just a little bit before his alarm went off. I mean, I do not actually think it is reasonable to text a guy at 5am; but in that panic I believed it was either text or lose him forever. Unfortunately, as expected, the early morning messaging made me lose him for sure.
I used to blame myself, wishing I had more self-control. Then, I learned that desperate acts are a psychological reaction to scarcity -- and they're 100% preventable. Here's how it works.