I couldn't help but relate this back to regular bedroom play, where watching a partner masturbate can be a great educator (and turn-on) for both parties. Blue's parameters on ensuring everyone is comfortable, and employing open communication, would certainly work in this setting, as well.
Solicit enthusiastic consent
The issues around grabbing people's genitals (or any other part of them) without consent has been in the news of late -- but "enthusiastic consent" has long been on the lips of Blue and the organizers of any play party worth its salt.
"Although we have our natural social intuition, the best way to find out whether you're on the same page with someone is to use your words," Blue said. She boiled consent down to three points:
Know what your "no's" are and communicate them explicitly.
Own your "yeses" and communicate them enthusiastically. "If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no" is a dictum Villa folk live by.
If you change your mind, communicate immediately. "Start with something easy as you approach someone for the first time," Blue said. Something as simple as, "May I join you?" sets a foundation that you're going to keep asking for consent throughout the interaction. Things can then escalate as agreed upon. "When you get a 'no,' thank your conversation partner," she said. "They are taking care of themselves so you don't have to later!"