And it was the universality of those lessons that inspired me to share what I learned.
Follow the BID: boundaries, intentions, and desires
Before engaging in any kind of sex play, Blue recommended using a tool called "BID" which stands for boundaries, intentions, and desires.
A boundary is something that you do not want to do; like sex with a stranger, or anal play. An intention is a mindset that sets the tone for the experience based on one's values. For example: "I would like to experience this party with openness to trying new things." A desire in this context is something that you want to experience, but don't have expectations for. It's not a goal, it's a bonus. This could be a same-sex encounter, kinky scene, or a cuddle puddle.
"Sex parties can be extremely stimulating environments," she said. "Sometimes heightened emotions can affect your decision-making, so it is advisable to think ahead and make some resolutions before the party -- especially if you are attending with a partner."