Over a lively two-hour presentation that included group exercises and attendee interaction, Blue touched upon everything that a sex-party attendee needs to know in order to be an excellent, respectful guest and set themselves up to have a wonderful experience.
And it was the universality of those lessons that inspired me to share what I learned.
Follow the BID: boundaries, intentions, and desires
Before engaging in any kind of sex play, Blue recommended using a tool called "BID" which stands for boundaries, intentions, and desires.
A boundary is something that you do not want to do; like sex with a stranger, or anal play. An intention is a mindset that sets the tone for the experience based on one's values. For example: "I would like to experience this party with openness to trying new things." A desire in this context is something that you want to experience, but don't have expectations for. It's not a goal, it's a bonus. This could be a same-sex encounter, kinky scene, or a cuddle puddle.