"Swipe right if you want to get naked, body paint me, and hook up on canvas!" I wrote on my profile.
Suddenly, every right swipe was a match. Go figure.
I settled on Charlie, a stunt comedian whose career moves him around the world spearing vegetables on spikes, escaping handcuffs, juggling sharp objects, and catching bowling balls with his face... all while telling jokes. I found YouTube videos of him playing paddle ball with his mouth and flipping mouse traps on his hand. My laughter disrupted the quiet coffee shop I had forgotten I was in. I realized I was blushing.
Getting down to (body-painting) business
Charlie had a show scheduled on the date in question, so he came over at bright, sunny 11am. Luckily for us, we had tons of chemistry -- so it only took three mimosas of liquid courage and a short, surprisingly not-awkward conversation, before I felt comfortable breaking out the kit. It was large and sleek, with two pairs of slippers to prevent tracking paint on the carpet, three jars of paint, a small paintbrush, and a 5x4ft black canvas to be laid across a (also-included) large plastic tarp. If the scene described reminds you of Dexter, you're not alone -- Charlie and I felt the same, in a funny and, surprisingly, not totally creepy way.