In Bed With Gigi Engle: Can I Make a Relationship Work With Someone I Met on the Internet?
Welcome to In Bed with Gigi Engle, a weekly column in which sex and relationships writer Gigi Engle answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes to anal, unrequited love to cheating: We want to hear it all.
For questions on relationships, sex, or anything else, email Gigi at AskGigi@thrillist.com.
I am going to visit a man I met on the internet in August. We have talked on the phone, texted daily, Skyped, sent daily pictures and regular videos. I'm not worried about him being who he says he is. What I'm worried about is… I am looking forward to being intimate with him. All we want to do is stay in the hotel together.
Do you think it is too soon? Should we wait for another visit?
Ooo, girl. That is JUICY! I love a good story of an internet romance.
Now, obviously my first piece of advice on all of this was going to be that you make sure he's not catfishing you. If you've Skyped a bunch of times and sent a ton of photos, you know he is (probably) who he says he is; or, at least, that he exists. So I'm not that worried about it from that perspective, but you can never be too careful.
That being said, you have to do some things for me and the people who love you. Your friends need to know which hotel you're staying at and your room number, and you need to sync up your phone so they have a pin in your location for the entire weekend. You promise you'll do those things?
It may sound like overkill, but your life and safety are NEVER to be taken lightly. If you tell me you're planning to go to where he is and not tell anyone, I will scream. Going to hotels with strange men you think you know is how you end up becoming the real-life inspiration for an episode of SVU. Spoiler alert: You're the body.
Going to hotels with strange men you think you know is how you end up becoming the real-life inspiration for an episode of SVU. Spoiler alert: You're the body.
ANYWAY, back to the physical-contact thing. Yes. You can TOTALLY be intimate with this man if he ends up not being a sociopath.
Get it, girl! You do not have to wait around like a nun if the passion and fire are there. You're going to a different state (I assume?) to visit him. There is nothing wrong with making the rendezvous hot and heavy.
If you really like him and he really likes you, what's stopping you? You're an adult and can make your own decisions. Don't deprive yourself of an orgasm because of some outdated idea of what makes a woman a "lady." Living by impossible standards is not good for anyone. Let your freak flag fly, mama!
In fact, get yourself a new sex toy for the occasion. Have him buy something he wants to try too. Forget being coy; you two are super-into each other and should have an absolutely fabulous time together. Hotel sex is the best sex because you can get away with a lot, make a ton of noise, and the setting is a sex novelty.
Forget being coy; you two are super-into each other and should have an absolutely fabulous time together.
Keep in mind that you've been virtually dating for months. If you were in the same place, you'd most likely have already spent many nights together. Plus, it sounds like you've really been building it up with him. There is nothing like the release after a slow build. I assume you already know this, and are just looking for someone to tell you to go for it.
OK: GO FOR IT.
I wish you the very best. And good luck with the whole long-distance thing -- it is a hard path, but if you truly like someone enough, you can make it work.
Love your favorite internet auntie,
Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email, and get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.