Bachelor(ette) party planners are the most annoying people in the entire world
You’re like, 35 years old, and yet still tickled by the penis straws, and penis hats, and penis confetti, and penis lollipops, and penis necklaces, and penis penis penis and and and please go to Spencer’s in the mall so you can giggle with the kids; where you’ll fit in just fine.
Customers will talk down to you
In the invisible pyramid of occupational hierarchy, porn clerks are often considered to be at the bottom along with fast-food workers, janitors, and those people who promote protein powder on Instagram.
Except for the last on that list, these workers are necessary in order to provide the masses with a quick snack, a clean bathroom or jack-off booth, or the purchase of a properly functioning sex toy. As sex-positive feminist and internet sensation Lux ATL has said: “People like to jack off with one hand and point a finger with the other.”
No. Children. Allowed.
Why? I dunno, man, it’s the law. We could argue the ethics of bringing babies into porn shops, teens into porn shops, pregnant teens into porn shops, but in the US the age of consent is 18 -- and I’m not here to debate you. If, after reading all of this, you still think a minor needs to accompany you on your dildo mission, write your congressperson or something.