Sex Tips for Boring People

Sex Tips for Boring People: Period Sex, Toys, and Sex Dreams

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Sex Tips for Boring People will take your sex life from vanilla to passion fruit. Or at least from vanilla to vanilla bean. Find more sexy advice right here.
 

What’s the deal with period sex?

Period sex, for better or worse, can kind of be a hot mess. But for many people, the emphasis here is on the word “hot.” Medically speaking, having sex with a woman on her period is completely safe for everyone involved. It’s just a little... wetter than usual. So what it really comes down to is what each person prefers. Much of the time it’s the ladies who put the period on period sex, as many guys really couldn’t care less. But ladies, did you know that sex during your time of the month feels even better because you’re more sensitive and aroused? Plus there’s all that added lubrication. 

If you’re interested in trying it, there are a few ways to make it less messy. Putting a towel down is an obvious one, as is having him wear a condom to minimizes cleanup. And because you’re using condoms anyway, right? Sex during the end of the period cycle is neater than in the middle because the flow is lighter. Avoid positions that have her on top because... well... science. 

If you’re into it or willing to try, superb. Then again if red really just isn’t your color that’s totally fine, too. Just let your guy know if stripping down while you’re bloated with cramps and a headache is the last thing on your mind. Communication with your partner is what it all comes down to. Period.

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Why does my girlfriend want to use toys during sex? Am I doing something wrong?

Short answer: No! Not at all! It’s time to put a hold on your ego for a hot minute. I know that men want to be the answer to all women’s sexual problems. The be all, end all of their orgasms. The white knight of their wet dreams. And for the most part YOU ARE. But what’s the harm in adding a little fresh pepper? 

“Does wanting sprinkles mean there’s something wrong with ice cream?” asks Janet Lieberman of sex-toy company DAME Products. “Definitely not. “There are many different reasons for wanting to use a sex toy. Clitoral stimulation is very important for most women, so there’s a chance she may be looking for more of that from a sex toy. She may also simply be looking to experience more fun and adventurous things with you alongside her as her partner, so keep an open mind.”

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Why am I having sex dreams about people I’m not attracted to?

So you’re sleeping and all is chill and your subconscious is like, “Hey why not pause for a sexy dream?” Sounds great -- but then all of a sudden you’re being dream-mounted by that woman/dude in your office whose cubicle everyone avoids. You know who I’m talking about… the one who you caught washing his or her hair in the bathroom sink, who keeps lunch tupperware the desk for weeks after the meal has concluded and who always seems to have mysterious stains on the two work shirts he or she rotates. So yeah, you’re banging away and dream you is like… really into it. You wake up panicked, grief-stricken and oh, so terrified. Could your subconscious be telling you that this is the person you’re supposed to ask back to your boudoir following the final round at happy hour? Honestly… probably not. Or... maybe? The truth: it’s complicated.

“The analysis of the dream really depends on the dreamer and what the dream represents for the person,” says Dr. Judy Scheel, PhD, LCSW and founder of CEDAR Associates, a private outpatient program in Westchester County, NY. “The dream does not necessarily have anything to do with sex. It could mean just the opposite -- that you feel guilty about something, that you feel conflicted over something. Dreams are representations. You have to deal with the details of the dream. How did you feel during it? Who are the players? Truthfully, you can’t know what a dream means until you analyze it and the dreamer.”

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer for Thrillist. All of her dates are tax-deductible. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at @drillinjourneys.