Sex Tips for Boring People

Sex Tips for Boring People: Ejaculation, Sex Itch, and Three-Ways

sex tips for boring people
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Sex Tips for Boring People will take your sex life from vanilla to passion fruit. Or at least from vanilla to vanilla bean. Find more sexy advice right here.

How many times a month should a man be ejaculating?

As with anything sexual, I like to steer clear of the word "should." In the "should" basket come all other things, like "normal" and "supposed to"... which are never words I like to throw into the sexual ring because everyone is different and what is right for you is not necessarily right for anyone else.

HOWEVER. I realize that this question might stem from a recent Men's Health article that says you should be ejaculating 21 times a month in order to reduce your risk of prostate cancer. In which case, let's proceed.

"There are health benefits to masturbating, and ejaculating, and sex," says Dr. Seth Cohen, assistant professor of urology at NYU Langone Medical Center. "There are a couple of studies in the Harvard Review where they studied around 30,000 men between 45 and 80 and looked at how many times they ejaculated throughout their lives -- and found that men who ejaculated 21 times a month or more had a 30% lower risk of developing prostate cancer than men who had four to seven ejaculations a month. Basically, more is better than less."

But there is a line. There comes a point where masturbating and sex is an addiction, and you have to be on the lookout for that. "I think the answer there is that if you're leading a normal, healthy lifestyle and you're masturbating and having sex often but still able to get to work, enjoy a healthy relationship, and be a healthy member of society, then you're fine," Cohen says. "If you're not leaving your house, missing work, or hurting yourself, that might be indicative of another problem."

Bottom line? As long as you're a functioning member of society, feel free to stock up on tissues and the latest babes of Snapchat, and make a weekend out of it.

Why does my vagina/vulva itch after sex?

Because sex, as great as it is, is physically kind of gross. Between the sweat, fluids, lubricants, rubber, bacteria, semen… there's a lot of chemistry going on down there that's way beyond the metaphoric.

"In general, a sexual activity causes some displacement of bacteria, and just the act of being active can cause new bacteria to spread into the vagina," says Dr. Taraneh Shirazian, assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at the NYU Langone Joan H. Tisch Center for Women's Health. "Itching can be a response to bacteria or yeast, or it can be an allergic response. If it's immediate, it's more likely an allergic response to either a condom, sperm if you aren't using a condom, or lubricant. If it's delayed it can be a response to bacteria and yeast."

So no need to panic. Shirazian suggests taking a shower to make it better, but usually giving it a little time will make it go away on its own. She suggests waiting first before doing anything immediately.

I'm a woman who had a three-way with a female friend and a man she's seeing (among a few other guys), at her request. Now the man is calling me, wanting to see me again, just the two of us. I like him -- how do I handle this?

First of all, good for you for asking this question. A lesser person would throw caution to the wind and carry on a quiet affair.

This is a tricky one as you enter the world of polyamory. The lines are blurred because obviously this other woman is fine with her fella sleeping with other woman, but how far does that go? Does she like it only when she is there, or are they in an open relationship? Or was this a one-time fantasy for her and her guy? The answer to that question will answer many other questions.

The first step here is to talk to this guy. Ask him what the situation is with him and his girlfriend. Are they even a couple? Are they polyamorous? Was this a one-time fantasy or do they do this all the time? Is he seeing anyone else? And the most important question: DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT IT?

If he says she knows about it and is cool with it, then go ahead and ask her about it. I don't want to sound like a cynic here, but people lie. All the time. So it's totally understandable for you to go to her for validation and confirmation. If there is anything shady about his answer at all, or nothing seems to add up, he's probably not being 100% upfront with you and my advice is to stay away until he is completely available. It might suck right now because you have feelings for him, but you're saving yourself a world of drama later.

Trust me on that.

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Meagan Drillinger is a contributing writer at Thrillist. All of her dates are tax deductible. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter @drillinjourneys.